THE BORDERLINE LETTERS PODCAST

At the start of sheltering in place, I thought it would be interesting to blur the borderline between private and public in an emotionally risky way. So I discontinued my daily journal writing in order to write all my private thoughts in letters. And then mailed them to friends and strangers. And then read them out loud on this podcast. Maybe the social judgement of TMI is a further restriction on our ability to connect. Or maybe some things are better kept to yourself. You be the judge.

[Note: This podcast isn’t specifically about Borderline Personality Disorder. Traits that apply are purely coincidental 😜]

Letter #27. The final episode, where I write myself out of a corner.

Letter #26. Alice James's diary. Class. Writing, Flow and the lack of it. More psychics. New plan for podcast.

Letter #25. A few minutes without coffee or Adderall. Trying to be real. Psychic grief portals.

Letter #24. Suicide dream! Lack of desire. Background noise making me lose my shit.

Letter #23. Superficiality. Colonizer consciousness. Post vs Pre colonization art. Sex dream! Brush with bestiality!

Letter #22. An imagistic romp through the hyperactive nervous system. "Bad choices," somatic thresholds. More dreams and psychics.

Letter #21. Hitting a dead end with writing. Psychic readings. Trickster. Fear of painting.

Letter #20. Ill at easeness. Thought addiction--mine and society's. Internal committee. Surrender.

Letter #19. What to DO about infinite suffering! Becoming a channel. Magic mushrooms. Gods & gurus. Failing.

Letter #18. Distraction from pain. Social avoidance. Shyness. Kindred spirits. Old souls. Seekers. Weez, prison and freedom.

Letter #17. Black hole inside. Horror beneath the surface. Shapeshifting. The health of sickness. Surprise ending! Even for me!

Letter #16. Embarrassment about these letters. Narcissism. Self-indulgence. Getting egged on.

Letter #15. Dinner trauma digested! Family legacies. Painting as spiritual union. Stream of consciousness ending.

Letter #14. Constructed identities, feeling ancestors if you can't feel God, receptivity is harder than assertion.

Letter #13. Bernie Sanders, projection, ayahuasca, evil entities, pests.

Letter #12. Envy! Competition! Good Queens. The sacredness of the individual.

Letter #11. A big one. Food, mother, trauma, mystical realms, Alice James, poo poo.

Letter 10. Enneagram, challenge vs play, afternoon panic, epigenetic trauma, eating, dark turn.

Letter #9. This podcast, middle age, art dreams, acid, ceremony, service, true calling?

Letter #8. Privacy, civilization, control, somatic inquiry, healing, lost utopia, stillness in chaos, tragedy.

Letter #7. Intimacy, life plans, doubt and resistance, body consciousness, flow of life.

Letter #6. Control, ADHD and civilization, glossolalia detour, painting thoughts.

Letter #5. Being good at losing things, my new project overview, how I'm a bad person, my golden shadow.

Letter#4. Screaming baby inside feeling, painting thoughts, the abyss, mystics and addicts.

Letter #3. How to live in illusory world when only emptiness is real, should I take Adderall or not, how do I live, what do I do, and a dream.

Letter #2. Letting go of control, fluctuating moods, shame, performance, ungroundedness.

Letter #1. My cat's failing kidneys and last wishes, my purging of self-help writings, conversations with my internal Evil Queen and Saboteur, a quick lament about lack of enthusiasm, a close call with vortex of self. 2020 © Anchor FM Inc. All rights reserved.